Most of the time, we ask this question at watershed moments, such as the new year, a birthday, or the end of the school year… when we also make promises about what we will change in the future.In fact, every day is an opportunity for a fresh start. It is essential to ask ourselves what we want and what being happy means for us.
We are surrounded by millions of pieces of information on a daily basis, sorted into drawers of right and wrong according to our own beliefs, social norms, and social environment. Yet, each of us is an individual, and the social criteria of sorting into individual drawers do not always suit us and can cause a lot of frustration. This is most noticeable when we are growing up, when we, as teenagers, struggle for our place in society. Later on, this is not so obvious, but we are struggling for a position in work and relationships. This, in turn, greatly affects our happiness.
Social norms strongly shape and characterize every human being, but we must not allow ourselves to be made unhappy, or give us a feeling of limitation or powerlessness. Many people are so keen on how to, on the one hand, nurture the norms that have been fostered by past generations and how to pave our own paths built on our own beliefs and visions of the future.
Our internal emotional attachment to the patterns of the past is often a barrier to reaching our potential. On the other hand, it can also be the fuel to overcome any challenge.
Nothing in this world is absolutely good, and nothing in this world is absolutely bad. Not even our fears, patterns, dreams, and longings.
And that is why the internal struggles between emotions that drive and stop us and the mind that seeks to find a sense of security are often left at the point we think we control.
The internal battle is the theme of every coaching session. Like a familiar song, it repeats: “Should I stay or should I go?” Or if you are the more literary type, “to be or not to be.”
So how do you take steps in the right direction and even know which direction is the right one?
Once you’ve set your goals, it’s time to critically evaluate them. Are these your goals, or do you just like your environment? What would you do if you had no limitations in life? Check to see if you are aiming in the right direction by outlining it without giving your company approval.
Find obstacles and fuel.
Like I said, nothing in this world is absolutely as it seems, not even our fears either. What do your fears tell you about what they warn you about? When you vent your fears, ask yourself again whether these are objective fears or just fears of disapproval from society. In your environment and in yourself, look for the qualities, beliefs, and knowledge you have that will support you on your path to your goals.
Be honest with yourself.
Being honest with yourself is the key to achieving every goal. Ask yourself if the goal is worth all the effort and internal hardship that will get in the way. Will the reward be worth the effort when you reach the goal? Above all, ask yourself the question of how this goal will benefit me in life and what will be the next step that you will take after you reach the goal.