I recently had a coaching session that got me thinking. April is a month already accentuated by cloudy skies and rain. Many times, people walk over the rain and wish for sunny days. And yet, is the rain really that bad? If we look rationally, humans need oxygen and food to survive, which is impossible without rain. The rain really affects how we spend our time, but on the other hand, it allows us to survive.
Rain can also be defined metaphorically as everything stressful in our lives. People tend to run away from inconveniences like bosses at work, people we dislike, college commitments, tidying up the apartment, accepting appointments, making life changes, solving relationship problems, and more. The media and modern psychological dogmas also strive for eternal, constant happiness and contentment. which, to a large extent, causes frustration for people since their days are also made up of discomfort. All of this, however, gives rise to an even greater tendency to escape and create a new reality, which many times has no contact with daily life. Coaching helps you look at the situation from a different perspective.
The consequence of running away is changing jobs, feeling increasing stress at work, creating clans within the company, not finishing or postponing graduation, blaming who is responsible for clean housing, living life chasing something we do not have, passivity, alienation in relationships, breakups…
So how do you accept the rain and learn to live with it? Coaching helps to move faster.
The inconvenience and criticism give us information on where the boundaries of our comfort zone end and our growth and progress start. I suggest three steps for you to either love the rain or learn how to deal with it.
Find out what really bothers you.
When something bothers us, it happens that we start generalizing and all of a sudden we are disturbed by the “rain.” For example, if you have a boss who puts a huge amount of work on you and gives you unreasonable deadlines, it quickly happens that you think of him in many ways that are unrelated to workloads. Therefore, divide the disturbing factors into the smallest possible units to extract their essence. Then ask yourself what actions or external influences are the solutions within you. What deprived or threatened you of these influences? When you find the answer to why something bothers you so much, it will be easier to find ways to change or control it.
Identify the cause and what the consequence is.
Every cause has its consequence, and every action is followed by a reaction. We must take responsibility for each of our responses. Ask yourself what has led to a situation in your life. Sometimes the reason is that you said nothing and accepted the extra work. Once you have identified the cause, you will be able to change it, thereby changing the consequences. It is important that you see the whole picture of the problem, not just your discomfort.
What does this have to do with your goals?
Going back to the beginning, our goal is to live, be happy, have a happy family, have a successful career, and have the sun. All of this would be impossible without rainy days and raindrops.When you understand and accept that a difficult boss, a difficult exam, a difficult client, etc. is just information about where your opportunity for growth is, you will feel relieved and your rainy days will become sunny and your sunny days even sunnier.
When you are no longer running, you will get to where you want to go. All this is much easier with the help of a professional, a trustee. Make an introductory coaching meeting, start exploring, and face the rain in your life.